I had another disappointing run at London. Having started ok, if not terribly fresh, it became clear at 12 miles that it would be a long haul. The incline over Tower Bridge is nothing more than a slope, and yet it felt like hard work! The last 10 miles of the race were a bit of a drag but luckily there was a superb collection of cheering Fetchies at 22 miles to look forward to, and to provide a blissful G&T, all ready mixed and in a sports bottle so I could take it with me. It certainly helped me get through the last 4 miles! The 4:02 finishing time was woeful and left me thinking that I ought to retire from marathons after Stockholm. I'm definitely not entering any autumn races for the time being. 

Spotting the G&T after 22 miles

Brighton marathon - #101

It wasn't a very auspicious start when I missed my train out of Victoria, the Boris bike got me there with 10 minutes to spare but I couldn't find a docking station, and the one I eventually found was full. The nearest one was a 5 minute walk away. I wasn't too fussed as it gave me time to get a cup of tea but it did mean I missed a few people at the start. It was the first outing for my 100 club vest and the occasional reaction was wonderfully positive, especially the people who said something along the lines of "blimey!" when I went past (of course it could have been something else entirely they were commenting on). It made me feel like it really was worthwhile, and I had a few people comment on how young I seemed to be to be wearing it. 

Bit of a Where's Wally pic, but this is the best one of me in my vest that I didn't have to pay £25 for

The plan was to run the first half at 8:20 - 8:30s, then the second half at 8:00s. The start of the race felt very fresh and comfortable but sticking to 8:30s was proving near impossible, having to bounce up and down a lot to keep the pace down. It was also quite tiresome having to be so glued to the garmin, I was checking it 2 or 3 times a mile and it was doing my head in a bit. I think I would rather have run this one to feel rather than to pace, but it was an experiment, and progressive running had worked for the Finchley 20.

The first half was in 1:48, only 2 minutes faster than planned, so that was fine, but as soon as I tried to accelerate it felt difficult. I got to 16 ok in around 8:00s but had to stop for a loo break at 17, no chance of waiting another 9 miles. I'm not really sure what went wrong after that. It was ok to 19 and Fetchpoint which was fabulous, thank you Fetchies, but I was feeling a bit drained and heavy. After that, my rhythm went out of the window, had to tie a shoelace at 20, got a bit hot and grumpy around the power station (I do still like this bit), had severe CBAs. A pacer would have helped. By 23, I knew I'd run the last 3 in about 27 minutes and knew the support would really help too. The time wouldn't be what I wanted but it would be sub 3:45.

Just after 24m however, I saw a runner on the verge of collapse. I'd already lost my PB so felt I should help her get to the next St John's, along with a chap called Jon. She was pretty much delirious, made no sense whatsoever, and was staggering around in any direction other than forwards. Not in a good way. But there were no St John's until the finish so we had to part run, part drag, part coax, part bully her over the next 2 miles, sometimes pulling her by her hand, or pushing her from the back, or occasionally jogging backwards in front of her to get her head up. The spectators quite liked that. It would have been much better to leave her with a medic, she was bad enough that she should have stopped and any further back it would have been the best thing to do. But she was so close to the finish and there were no medics about and I didn't want to leave her. She did manage to run the last 400 metres to the finish and pip a very sweaty looking Chewbacca to the post. I had to apologise to him for making him a target - "you CAN'T get beaten by a bleedin' Chewbacca!"

I have mixed feelings about it, on the one hand, I couldn't have left her as she looked so bad, but on the other, more selfish side, I do feel like I chucked away a half decent time (it could have been 13-15 minutes faster). Not very gracious really.

By the time I got to the pub my mood was pretty grumpy (not helped by having seen the last person I would have expected to see, and who had been extraordinarily unpleasant on our last encounter, and by being bashed into by dozens of spectators, Brighton does need to sort the finish out), only to be cured by large applications of alcohol. Nothing to do with being disappointed and having low blood sugar or anything. The wine was terrible, the burgers were fortunately a lot better than the uncooked veggie sausages and there was no outdoor space (we'd probably had enough of the sun by then) but enough people turned up to make enough noise to empty the rest of the pub. Next stop, the Chandos. Just 26.2 miles to get there.

Top 5 medals

Slightly less self-congratulatory / self-deprecating this time. These are my 5 favourite medals. Extra points awarded for a big chunky lump of hardware, depth of relief, artistic effort and attempt to capture the flavour of the individual marathon. 

#5 - Porto. Good attempt at depicting the elegant bridge over the Douro river, ever so slightly let down by a bit of blurriness. (Photo is of Porto and La Rochelle)

#4 - Brighton. Even though this has rusted a fraction, the Brighton Pavilion is an elegant and stylish image. I like the simplicity of this one, just the image and the name and year of the race (and a tiny logo). Big too. Very nice.

#3 - La Rochelle. This is beautiful, it's the view of the two towers in the harbour (you finish by the one on the right) with a small boat. The quality and finish are superb and it's in fairly deep relief. It's also got the founder's vizog on the reverse, but the front is excellent.

#2 - Florence. Florence puts a different image relating to the city on its medal each year, this year was Galileo with his telescope. The amount of detail is extraordinary for a race medal, and the finish quality spot on, you can even see an expression on Galileo's face. It's not easy to make people look like people, but Florence has managed it, even in the Renaissance style. Exquisite.

#1 - 100 marathon club. Ok, this is a bit of a cop-out. Florence is a far better medal. But this wins because of its rarity and because it sums up all the 100 marathons it took to run it. It captures not only the landscapes and city scapes that I've been lucky enough to see but also the thousands of miles of pavements and roads that have got me there. There were times where all you see is grey - grey concrete, grey roads, grey skies, grey buildings, grey flyovers. But there are times where you see sights that make your breath catch in your throat. This reminds me to remember them.

And here's a rubbish pic of them all hanging in my loo, along with a windowsill full of trophies and awards and stuff. Sadly, none of them proves that I can run very fast, just that I enter poorly populated events. Choose your races wisely, kids!

Fastest and slowest marathons

My 5 slowest marathons and ultras. Further exposition of the sheer misery that accompanied each of these events can be found in my blog but it's safe to say that they were all Horrid.


#5 - Langport Day 2, 5 hours 58. The nettles! THE NETTLES!!!


#4 - The Picnic, 6 hours 35. The most stupid marathon ever. If it weren't for the bonkers Dr Rob of Trionium and his silly signs and making us sing the National Anthem or whatever at the start, this would be terrible.


#3 - Portland Coastal 6 hours 38. That shingle beach totalled my achilles for months afterwards.


#2 - Pembrokeshire Coastal Day 1, 6 hours 50. Oh my god, what had I let myself in for? There were 2 more days of this.


#1 - Pembrokeshire Day 2, 8 hours 40. By the end, I couldn't even stand up without being knocked over by the wind. Let alone walk. Let alone run. (I DNF'd Day 3 with a touch of hypothermia and very very empty tanks)




5 fastest races (no ultras in here)


#5 - La Rochelle, Nov 2010, 3 hours 40. Awful awful awful, was knackered, couldn't see, felt like I was going to pass out, was a total wreck at the finish. Thank god for Mark's company.


#4 - Abingdon, Oct 2009, 3 hours 38 (4 min PB). Managed 16 miles at 3:30 pace but blew up. Should have gone for a slower target but it's worth doing the odd race with a risky strategy. It might just work.


#3 - Seville, Feb 2010, 3 hours 37. Really strong 12k at the end to squeak a 1 minute PB. 


#2 - VLM, April 2010, 3 hours 36. One week after Brighton (see below). Could have PB'd here but stopped to hug various mates. Worth it :-)


#1 - Brighton, April 2010, 3 hours 36. Recipe for a PB: previous week, run 100 miles in 6 days at 8:30 average pace, including 2 marathons in Connemara. Take Monday off (you've got a sparrows' farts flight in the morning anyway), then run 10 miles on Tuesday, 10 miles on Thursday (at 7:35 pace), 10 on Friday then go out and get absolutely battered. Wake up on Saturday with the worst hangover ever, deal with this by drinking another bottle and a half of red wine. Forget to charge your garmin so have no watch for the race. Have a bacon and egg roll for breakfast. Run a 90 second PB :-)

Best marathon goody bags

Best goody bag this time, organisers get extra points for yesterday's locally themed stuff, anything truly unique, and for tech t-shirts in female fit. You know how many of us have entered your race, it's not that bloody hard.


#5 - Faversham. A bottle of Spitfire (Shepherd Neame is brewed in Faversham) and a giant and supremely naff trophy because we're all winners. The communists' marathon, no winners here (sorry TZ).


#4 - Zurich New Year's Eve. A white string vest. No logo on it to explain why you'd own a white string vest, just a white string vest. No medal either, but the vest was very special.


#3 - La Rochelle. What a haul, a beautiful medal, a drawstring backpack, a rose for the ladies, a fabulously garish windcheater the size of a tent and a bourrette of oysters and oyster shucker. 


#2 - Seville. The best bargain race I've done. I missed the free feed both before and after the race but did come away with a huge medal, a giant towel, a running vest (technical - tick, lady sized - tick, green - fail) and a pair of racing knickers!! My theory is you have to be sub 3'15 to wear racing knickers and in possession of an extremely pert and compact behind. This rules out most of the female field. Oh well, nice gesture.


#1 - Porto. Again, a beautiful medal, a rucksack, 2 t-shirts (1 technical, green and vast, 1 cotton, red and vast, neither good but both appreciated), 2 baseball caps, some odds and sods like a keyring and samples, a drawstring bag, a rose for the ladies, free lunch at the expo, free pint of beer at the finish, and a 750ml bottle of commemorative port :-) The port was the clincher, if not the fuzzy head on the startline.

Best Locally Themed Mementos

I've also stuck in the Most Inappropriately Named Marathons as there aren't really enough for their own list:


#2 - The Dorset Doddle. 32 miles along the Jurassic Coast from Weymouth to Swanage, up and down and up and down. Beautiful views, but exhausting.


#1 - The Picnic marathon. Yes, there's a picnic at the finish but this race is contrived by the bonkers Dr Rob of Trionium to be the most ridiculously difficult marathon ever. 


Best Locally Themed Mementos


#10 - Dartmoor Discovery 2008 - a glass block with the route laser etched into it. Shame they don't do these any more.


#8 & 9 - Snowdonia and Windermere for the slate coaster (Snowd) and slate medal (Windy)


#7 - London - London Pride on tap at the Expo, worth a few circuits of Excel


#6 - 10 in 10, a huge chunk of slate with a wicked pointy top, much more unique than a medal and a very handy weapon if you have intruders


#5 - Faversham - a bottle of Shepherd Neame, as brewed in Faversham


#4 - La Rochelle - a box of about 2 dozen oysters, and an oyster shucker. Not very practical, but very local.


#3 - Cornish - a piping hot pasty at the finish. 


#2 - Porto - a full size bottle of port. Not very handy for those with hand luggage, but must be drunk before departure.


#1 - Jersey - local, icy cold, creamy milk at the finish line. Unbelievably delicious.


Now I need to get to the Epernay marathon for the champagne and back to Bordeaux for the red, and I reckon there'd be interest in races in Melton Mowbray for the pies, Cheddar for the cheese and Cartmel for the best sticky toffee pudding ever.

Top 5 Negative Splits

Now for a rather more personal list. The time is how much quicker the second half was compared to the first half.


#5 Dublin 2009 - 5 minutes (2'13 + 2'08 = 4'21). Bit of a cheat this one as, being totally wiped out from Beachy and Greensands the previous two days and not enough sleep, I'd fallen asleep on the run and had to have a bit of a nap in an ambulance at about 11 miles to get me through it. Not recommended.


#4 Barcelona 2009 - 2 minutes (1'52 + 1'50 = 3'42'30). This was my first sub 3'45 and the pacing was perfect, this race started at 30k. Could probably have run the whole thing a bit quicker.


#3 Florence 2009 - 5 minutes (2'00 + 1'55 = 3'55'14). A easy long slow run of a marathon. I went through the first half in 2 hours on the nose then started racing from 16 miles, passing 1,769 runners in the second half, a whopping 39% of the field.


#2 Seville 2010 - 3 minutes (1'50 + 1'47 = 3'37). By the time I got to 30k, I had 1 hour and 1 minute to equal my existing PB, exactly 8'00 minute miling. I've no idea where it came from but I beat it by a fraction. Hardly worth it, but an exhilarating final hour.


#1 Jersey 2010 - 9 minutes (2'05 + 1'54 = 3'59). Nowhere near my best overall time but the clear winner on the negative split front. I think this proved to me that even though my legs were unbelievably over-trained, over-raced and my head was sick to death of marathons, I could still beast myself on occasion. 


(Luckily, I don't have the stats for the positive spits ;-) )